Castles made of sand…

Woohoo. And then off to the wonderful world of Florida.

Sadly, I will be leaving a lot behind. Family, friends, and those dear to me. Its going to be tough. But that hasn’t stopped me before. Trying something that seems impossible or hard to do is the only way to find out that you can or cannot do it. Trying and failing is better than not trying at all.

I was at the beach today, and was witness to an event. A little girl (maybe 8 to 10 yo) got caught in a rip tide, and apparently her parents noticed this. I didn’t hear her scream or anything, and it wasn’t until the 3 people who ran in after her were halfway to her before I realized what was going on. One of the 3 was a man who made it to her first. By the time he got to her, he was exhausted and wasn’t able to bring her in. The other two who went in managed to bring the the whole group in. The little girl was fine.

The man was not. He was worn out and had a hard time breathing. He laid there on the beach for a while breathing heavily, and you could tell he was exhausted. After a while he go up and moved to the umbrella that the family was sitting under… but he was still having trouble. So first the lifeguard came and tried to give him oxygen, but there must have been some trouble with the equipment cause he put it away after fumbling with it for a while. Then came the park rangers, who also had oxygen which they gave to him. Finally came NASA EMS/Fire Rescue and some other emergency personnel. With all those people I couldn’t see what was going on, but eventually he walked off with them.

And he saved the little girl.

It is also good to love: because love is difficult. For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. That is why young people, who are beginners in everything, are not yet capable of love: it is something they must learn. With their whole being, with all their forces, gathered around their solitary, anxious, upward-beating heart, they must learn to love. But learning-time is always a long, secluded time, and therefore loving, for a long time ahead and far on into life, is: solitude, a heightened and deepened kind of aloneness for the person who loves. Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person (for what would a union be of two people who are unclarified, unfinished, and still incoherent?), it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, to become world, to become world in himself for the sake of another person; it is a great, demanding claim on him, something that chooses him and calls him to vast distances. Only in this sense, as the task of working on themselves (”to hearken and to hammer day and night”), may young people use the love that is given to them.

– Rainer Maria Rilke,
May 19, 1904

As a child, I thought friendship was about hanging out together all the time and sticking up for each other when others were critical or cruel. In my adolescence, I thought a true friend was someone who liked everything you liked and never did anything to upset you. But as an adult, I have learned that the defining quality of at true friendship is when the other person encourages you to be all you can be, challenges you to become the-best-version-of-yourself, and vice versa.

– Matthew Kelly

As we grow up, we are limited by rules enforced by our parents. We strive to grow older, to be freed from these rules. And upon having done so, becoming an adult, we wish to be a kid again.

On a similar note to What have I learned? Part 1, I wrote about what I learned in 2005 while living in Florida. Most of these kind of relate to living on my own, as 2005 was the first time. Unlike the last list, most of these don’t relate to work.

What have a learned from living on my own here in Florida?

==== Spring 2005 ====
I’ve learned that bills stink a lot. I’ve learned that I don’t need things that I want. I’ve learned there is more to life than just working (just need to figure out what that is). I’ve learned that sources of motivation change quickly while working. I’ve concluded yet again that college is expensive. I’ve learned that its different living on my own versus at college and home; especially when I’m 500 miles from the place I still call home.

I’ve learned that I work too hard. I’ve learned to live with the Florida weather. I’ve learned that lots of little kids in an apartment complex is very annoying and brings strange desires to rip out their vocal cords (just kidding, from this I’ve learned why someone has invented ear plugs). I’ve learned that tv dinners are “decent” substitutes for real food.

I’ve learned the value of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I’ve learned that exercise can wake you up decently. I’ve learned that 2 cups of coffee can do wonders. I’ve learned that Walmart has some good prices. I’ve learned to charish memories of the past. I’ve learned that the TV is good for something other then starting a vegetative state in humans. I’ve learned that I can eat lots of snacks and still be hungry. I’ve learned the value of sunscreen (several times infact). Those kids… grr. I’ve learned that being called Mr. and Sir makes me feel old. What happened to being called a kid?

==== Fall 2005 ====
I’ve learned not to play music really loud with bass in the morning which can piss off your neighbors, but I wasn’t the one playing the music. I’ve learned that occasionally some people like to cause a ruckis between 2 and 3 am, and even the police know this too. I’ve learned that I like to take long walks on the beach to relax. I’ve learned what it means to miss someone, to be lonely. I’ve learned that people like to litter public beaches. I’ve learned that the beach changes a lot in just a little bit of time, yet its still a beach.

Well, this music video just made my day. Check it out. Now.

Free Hugs Campaign.

What can you do when things go wrong? Sometimes thing don’t go according to plan. Other things get in the way; interrupting the present course and altering the future. I guess one could call that a chaos factor. If there wasn’t something unexpected in our lives, we would be bored because what we expect or what we want would always come to be. Life would be easy. However, the existence of this factor does not necessarily make life hard; it merely makes life interesting. And these things that get in the way have a purpose, a defined addition to our lives. Be it good or bad, we are often blind to their overall effect and are only caught up in that moment. If we were to recognize all the forces acting upon us, maybe we’d realize that we were truly living.

Written: 2/7/2007

I wrote this at two separate times back in 2005 when I spent most of my year working at Kennedy Space Center. I never published it, but I kept it. I figured its time to post it.

Essentially I wrote about what I learned while working there. Some of it’s geeky. Okay, maybe a lot of it…

What have I learned working for KSC?

Spring 2005
I’ve learned that the gov’t is different than your average job. I’ve learned that Microsoft’ Marketing department (and consequently their licensing fees) is really the evil side of MS. I’ve learned that if you put enough computer gurus together, one of them might actually know what he is talking about. I’ve learned that I’m a pretty good troubleshooter. I’ve learned the value of meetings (or lack of). I’ve learned the government has tons of documentation, paperwork, rules, and regulations.

I’ve learned that working for the government has some benefits. I’ve learned a lot about the shuttle program, rocket program, and other inventions coming out of NASA. I’ve learned that deadlines are tentative (is that a good thing? ) I’ve learned that there are lots of neat toys like software, hardware, etc. and that some of them are actually useful. I’ve learned the usefulness of 1600×1200 resolution and a 19′ flat screen monitor. I’ve learned that if there is a rule, some are bound to break it (either accidentally or on purpose) and then they make more. I’ve learned that size does matter. I’ve learned that it is hard to over-accomplish in a gov’t environment. I’ve learned that some people are willing to change and some are still stuck in the 80’s.

I’ve learn that there is politics involved with any major project and once you are beyond the typical “grunt worker” you have to consider these things. If you’re the grunt worker, you get fired or “layed off” (the politically correct term) for others’ political mistakes. Nothing new there though.

Fall 2005
I’ve learned to enjoy a dual monitor display. I’ve learned that no matter how much time or effort you put into a project, there are always things to improve upon. However, a finished project is one that meets the given requirements or satisfies the end user, even if it has defects. I’ve learned that estimating time for a project in Information Technology is usually under estimating because there are almost always things that take longer than expected.

We are who we are. Even more so, we are the result of our decisions. Furthermore, we are the result of those around us. I can’t help but think of how my life is shaped due to my friends. This kind of goes back to the “Circle of Life” page I did back in February. Essentially, pick any object and it has some connection to other parts of your life.

I miss my friends… I miss you.